You know you’re a youth pastor when…

January 25, 2013 — 15 Comments

you regularly get advertisements from charter bus companies
you know what aisle the paper plates are in at costco
you always have receipts in your pocket
you’ve wondered if you could pull off skinny jeans
you haven’t been on a date in 5 years
you know more than 3 people with b.o.
you oddly have the lyrics to gangnam style memorized
you have hundreds of facebook friends under the age of 18
you own a macbook, iphone, and or ipad
you listen to christian music
you take pride in your planking abilities
you’ve mastered the perfect s’more
you still say, “your mom…” in response to pretty much anything.
your office contains the following items: megaphone, sofa, books, snacks, cooler, paper plates, and first aid kit.

Have some fun. Add to this list in the comments!

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  • Mary Fabella Truett

    you’re always ordering pizza.

    • Big Mac

      when you call to order pizza and they answer how many this week mac?

      • Theresa Mazza

        I wonder if there will be pizza in heaven?

    • Theresa Mazza

      Yes, pizza! The most important meal a youth pastor will ever order.

  • Heather

    I’d add:
    …you have had shaving cream splatted on your head at least once in the past year.
    …you could explain the rules to Ultimate Frisbee in your sleep.
    …you are an expert ropes course navigator and have spent upwards of an hour talking a scared teenager off of one.
    …you have cleaned up after someone who is not your own child has gotten sick, in the middle of the night, of course.
    …you sometimes subconsciously start doing hand motions to worship songs during “big church.”
    …you often have a backpack full of medical release forms.
    …you continually count the number of people in your group when you’re out in public, even if it’s a group of peers.
    …you think think in terms of how to connect all games/movies/songs back to Jesus and in what talk you could use them as a good object lesson.
    …you have no biological children but often say “my kids.”
    …you have been to more middle school orchestra/band/choir concerts than anyone human being should have to endure in a lifetime.
    …you find it rare and a luxury to take a “business” trip that doesn’t entail shower shoes, bunk beds and cafeteria treys. And you haven’t been in school for over a decade.
    …you have get more free drinks than anyone you know on your Starbucks card.
    …you could die happy never having to eat cheap pizza again.
    …you blamed “work” when you read the Hunger Games and Harry Potter or purchased Taylor Swift songs on iTunes.
    …you have had the privilege this summer of praying/crying/rejoicing with students as they discover life in Jesus for quite possibly the very first time!

    • http://theresamazza.com/ Theresa Mazza

      So much of what you’ve added is so true and so funny! Oh the glorious life we live. But this, this is good…you have had the privilege this summer of praying/crying/rejoicing with
      students as they discover life in Jesus for quite possibly the very
      first time! Keep it going Heather.

  • Hammer

    …you use the word “Dude” often in your sermons.
    …you’ve ever fist-bumped the Pastor after “big church”.
    …your resume’ includes the number of marshmallows you can hold in your mouth!

    • http://theresamazza.com/ Theresa Mazza

      Nice!

  • abhutchison

    -You have memorized the medical history of at least a dozen youth
    -You find randomly hidden toys in your office
    -You can’t figure out why your iPhone doesn’t hold any songs… then realize it’s because your youth stole it for selfies… again (Dear Apple, please do not allow a locked iPhone to take pictures)
    -You instinctively turn your phone off and flip it screen down as soon as you’re done with whatever you’re doing
    -You are immune to insults

    • http://theresamazza.com/ Theresa Mazza

      Yes, literally, all those things. So true.

  • tstone

    -You get on your church computer, and one of your youth have left their Facebook open, and you can’t resist changing their information and profile picture.

    • http://theresamazza.com/ Theresa Mazza

      Naughty!

  • Christine Leard Smith

    the church custodian comes and complains about what the”youth did” the next morning after youth group

    • http://theresamazza.com/ Theresa Mazza

      Ain’t that the truth! Lord help us all.

  • Gina

    you respond to the question, “How many kids do you have?” with the amount of kids in your youth group. Haha I do this all the time, when I say I have 20 kids people look at me like I’ve lost it. Haha.